Citizen’s Commission on Human Rights

On the post Dark Truth, I had linked a YouTube video that featured Citizen’s Commission on Human Rights at the end of the video.

I wanted to find out more and they have a DVD and information packet available to the public. I requested the DVD and information so I could pass the information onto my readers, friends, family, peers and my current teachers. (I write this in excited anticipation of receiving it.)

The American public has been brainwashed to believe certain stigmas about mental illness. I like to research details to come to my own conclusions. This is a dirty secret that needs to be spread- for yourself, friends, family members and the millions of children effected by the lies of society.

I’ve signed up with a couple other Human Rights websites in the past, but this Commission is the first to follow up with me, personally. I’m excited to work with them in my area in the near future.

Please don’t just believe my word. This organization has done an immense amount of research over many years. Take a minute to read their tireless effort to give us the truth of “mental illness”.


Social Media Propaganda

A couple weeks ago, social media was up in arms over the ignorant statements made to a GQ reporter after being asked to give his opinions on a particular topic. I had never seen the show and didn’t know who this guy was until the internet exploded with talk about him.

Continue reading

Truth and Actuality

Truth is defined as:

Main Entry: truth
Pronunciation: \ˈtrüth\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural truths \ˈtrüthz, ˈtrüths\
Etymology: Middle English trewthe, from Old English trēowth fidelity; akin to Old English trēowe faithful — more at true
Date: before 12th century
1 a archaic : fidelity, constancy b : sincerity in action, character, and utterance 2 a (1) : the state of being the case : fact (2) : the body of real things, events, and facts : actuality (3) often capitalized : a transcendent fundamental or spiritual reality b : a judgment, proposition, or idea that is true or accepted as true c : the body of true statements and propositions 3 a : the property (as of a statement) of being in accord with fact or reality b chiefly British : true 2 c : fidelity to an original or to a standard 4 capitalized Christian Science : god
— in truth : in accordance with fact : actually

Actuality is defined as:

Main Entry: ac·tu·al·i·ty
Pronunciation: \ˌak-chə-ˈwa-lə-tē, ˌak-shə-\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural ac·tu·al·i·ties
Date: 1618
1 : the quality or state of being actual 2 : something that is actual : fact, reality
— in actuality : in actual fact

I said in the beginning of my blog that it is likely I will change my mind as I progress in life. In my course of life, until now, I used the word “truth” improperly. I should be using the latter definition of actuality. When I give a statement, I’m telling the truth stating actuality.


The past couple days I spent some time researching insane asylums, mental illness, institutionalization, and the history of psychology (to name a few). It started with my previous post, Insanely Complex Mental Health, and morphed into a lot of information. I had ideas and theories and I had questions. The first question I had was simply put: schizophrenia. The truth is, I knew nothing about it. I’ve heard some horror stories and have a media-listic idea of schizophrenia, but I wanted more understanding before I could proceed. I had come across some YouTube videos and then started some reading of “confessions”.

I had come to a particular confession of a schizophrenic that threw many of my former assumptions of schizophrenia out the window. I was captivated at the honesty and self awareness of this woman’s writing. I believe her theory and practice is solid, but I wish she had dug slightly deeper and beyond her initial theory.

In reading the other “confessions”, I saw a consistent pattern among those who were admitted schizophrenics: they all began by stating, “I’ve been diagnosed…” This meant someone else told them that is who they are and that is who they will be for their lifetime. There is no room for a schizophrenic to have hope of something they are told to believe isn’t attainable- that they could live a different life, if only given the tools to change their minds.

Several months ago, I watched a very raw, honest documentary of a modern day mental institution (though they are now formally called “rehab” facilities or “community mental health”) in the United States. It is a very popular facility in NYC. There was a woman there diagnosed schizophrenic. She was given pills to keep her in a compliant stupor. She was to receive a new pair of glasses, and didn’t want to give up her taped pair. During her later interview, she cried intensely, and said, “I just want to be normal!” It was heartbreaking to me that this woman never imagines “normal” in her future.

The beginning of the theory of the above confessions states the following:

To you who so generously tried to help me when I came to you as a patient, I confess I did not really want your help. In truth I wanted to be mad–not ‘mad’ mad–but ‘angry’ mad. When abusive parents force their children to suppress justifiable anger, a toxicosis develops in the brain consisting of noradrenaline, adrenaline, and other neurochemicals that store repressed anger and grief. The excitatory nervous symptoms of most mental disorders are periodic detoxification crises, which are usually followed by depression (Van Winkle 2000). During these detoxification crises repressed anger–now rage–is released, and because neural pathways are clogged up where memories of early trauma are stored, the rage is often misdirected inward or toward others rather than toward the original abusers. Because neural pathways are askew, thinking becomes distorted and the mind is prone to fantasies, delusions, hallucinations, and psychoses. The afflicted person is likely to act in bizarre and unintended ways. But the symptoms, which are detoxification crises, are healing events. If the person can be guided to redirect anger toward all past abusers during these symptoms, the mind can heal.

Again, I agree with that theory to an extent. What I would also add is that suppression of crying (the tool babies use to communicate our first social existence in the world) or the needs of infant/toddler cries not being met and, therefore, suppressed at least until a child is able to verbally communicate his/her needs also leads to a change in neural pathways and a comfort in isolation. It is rather ingrained in our human survival for socialization. Humans are uniquely vulnerable in that our survival rests on another human until we can walk and talk, at the very least, and that comes much later in life than with other mammals. The process of a human entering into society on his/her own is also much longer than any other mammal.

I don’t have a degree in psychology, psychiatry or any doctorate of any kind. I just think. A lot. I try to think deeper than what’s on the surface. I think about myself and my own experiences, I think about the experiences of others and their stories, I think about my own children, and I think about the interactions I’ve had with others and the interactions I’ve witnessed. What I lack on paper, I exceed with life experience.

It is my belief that not only do we need socialization for survival, but we need it to thrive in life. I believe our brain needs other people to feel “normal”. Through long-term isolation, the comfort of others begins in our minds and extends when our lack of human interaction decreases our success to function in society at a “normal” level. It then reassures our fears and anxieties within our minds and we outwardly project what appears as “not normal” or schizophrenic.

I have young children who have played with dolls, blocks, stuffed animals, clothes, sheets, boxes and other inanimate objects. Their stuffed animals talked to them and they talked back. Their blocks were giant castles. They put dresses on and went to parties. They made tents and forts and camped at all hours of the day. They built and flew planes and cars and drove around. They did all these things in their mind. They aren’t schizophrenic. They used their imaginations. As they grew older, and they were able to talk and play with others and grasp reality, the play changed. Their imaginations remain, but the grasp of reality pulls them back from continuing the same play. It then seems rather obvious that there was a point in the “schizophrenic mind” that reality didn’t quite sink in like a “normal mind”.

How do YOU fight boredom?

There are plenty of things I could be doing that I wouldn’t have time for boredom to set in. But those are things I have to do anyway which can be a chore boring. I love using my brain! I could read (and do love to), but with kids interrupting every few minutes, I just can’t get into a good book like I used to pre-children. (I blog from my phone that can be “paused” when my children need my attention.) In my book reading days, I picked non-fiction. I’ve read every possible book I could find on Anne Frank (her diary, the extended version, people who knew her). It branched out to reading about WWII and the experiences of others in the Nazi Concentration Camps.

In school, we had yearly assessments. By the time I was in 6th grade, I had the reading level of a high school senior. This was challenging since books written for 6th graders were too easy and those written for 12th graders were inappropriate. I took a liking to a set of old books my aunt kept in wonderful condition that she passed along to me- Nancy Drew. Thankfully, she had also kept a set of The Hardy Boys, which I read through after finishing Nancy Drew. I so loved reading mysteries and trying to solve them along with the characters! As I grew, I started reading more true crime novels.

During the first couple years of high school, I despised history classes. They bored me to tears with all the names and dates I was supposed to remember. I had a hard enough time keeping all the names of my friends straight and could only remember the birth dates of my closest family members. It wasn’t until my Junior year of high school that I had a history teacher that had such animated passion. It was this teacher of American History that sparked my later obsessions with the 1960’s history and politics. I had, all along, enjoyed history- I just didn’t know it. John F. Kennedy- before, during, and after his presidency and murder- was the first subject of my studious efforts to find truth and evidence. It was a passion driven by a shared name, state, and the fondness and desire for human rights, equality, and justice. After I graduated high school, I read the Commissioner’s report and took my own notes of what I wanted to dig deeper on. Yes, I’m a total geek.

The next “true crime” I really remember reading was A Death in Texas: A Story of Race, Murder and a Small Town’s Struggle for Redemption by Dina Temple-Raston. Everything I had read about the progression of segregation with JFK was questioned after reading about this tragedy. I grew up rather naive to racism in modern society. It heightened my awareness to the lingering problem, although I still remained mostly naive until living in the South.

There are times I wish I could forget knowing problems like this exist in my world- and worse, my children’s world. Unfortunately for those who would rather remain in ignorant bliss, I can’t unknow and I can’t stay silent.

I have a strong desire to learn, understand and find truth and eventually that leads to justice (that is the hope). I’m constantly thinking and without focused attention, I get incredibly bored. In several days, I will be back to my normal routine and classes will begin and I will have that focused attention my brain craves. Until then, I will spend my boredom soaking up knowledge and sharing it in words.

Almost a New Year

It’s almost 2014. It’s so close that people have really ramped up talking about it on social media. So I figured I’d leave some last words for this year for me to reflect on this time next year.

I’ve really learned a LOT this year.

I learned about myself. My own capabilities, insecurities, passions, failures, successes… I’ve learned that I can still change some things about myself and my way of thinking- not because it’s wrong or bad, but so I can be better understood. I’ve learned that a year is a blip on the radar of life and this, too, shall pass. I’ve also learned that a year can completely change someone’s life. This year has definitely been a life-changing year. It excites me that because of this year’s many challenges, I’m prepared for an immense growth over the next year.

I’ve learned from others. I’ve learned that there really are some terrible people in the world. (Gone are the days of blissful ignorance.) I’ve learned that there are some truly remarkable people out there who sacrifice their time and emotions to lend it to those in need. I’ve learned about the power of perception. I’ve learned that I don’t need to defend myself repeatedly because those who truly know me do understand me and that’s all that really matters. I’ve learned that not everyone is willing to listen. I’ve learned that silence can be a remarkable strength of self-restraint. I’ve learned that my strength of character shines once people get to know me. I’ve learned to take constructive criticism of myself (from those coming from an honest, caring place) and to swallow my pride- I can’t grow without looking deeply in the mirror.

The lessons I’ve learned this past year gives me a confidence that I can handle quite a bit and I know when I need to ask for help or advice and when I need to give up and move on. I’m stubborn, though, so my giving up might take longer than the average person. There are some things I’m so passionate about that I will never truly give up until there’s a resolution. (Or maybe it’s that I’m too stubborn to give up trying?) I don’t think passion or even stubbornness are bad qualities to possess. Just look at MLK, JFK, Nelson Mandela…